Got a toothbrush?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
