a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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