remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
