i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
