Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
