Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
