Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
