p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish i was in the wii world.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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