I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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