I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
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