im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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