He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
