ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
