he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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