he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Even my vagina gasped.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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