What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
