he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
