Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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