What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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