I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
