quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
