I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
