lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
