I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
