I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize