If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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