I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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