Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
