Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
