The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
