I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
