take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
