I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize