I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
