There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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