Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
