you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
