fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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