I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
