im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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