No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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