in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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