Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i barfeds in our rink
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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