I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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