I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Best friends brother. Beat that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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