I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had to cum in my sink.
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