Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
