You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
