YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize