dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
