Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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