i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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