She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
