You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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