I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize