i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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