Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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