Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
