I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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